slightly left of center thoughts

It has always been a palaisipan for me if it’s possible to make somebody love you. Seriously, is it possible? If yes, then how? =) Boy, somebody’s sounding desperate…hehe

By the tone of my question, I sound like someone who already tried and failed haha…

Discussions about love-ek-ek is not my cup of tea. My usual reaction is, "yikes!". I do think of these things too, but i prefer to keep my softer spots away from public view, being one who is more comfortable with the front of humor or cold rationality when in front of others than with gushy mushiness. Yet here I am, as if having had a 180-degree change of heart, emoting about the same subject which I feel embarassed to talk about. Hence, going back to the topic, I know of women who really exerted extra efforts. Many got what they wanted, but I keep wondering if they are also happy in the end. If I do the same, will I be able to shake off the nagging insecurity that will soon follow knowing that I somehow railroaded the process? (And why do I keep typing questions anyway?)

How come that some people have it easier? Without even trying, voila! There it is–the man of their dreams. I was close to concluding that life is not fair had it not been for my Catholic-school-bred conscience reminding me that everything in this life has a reason—even the fact that one’s “special someone”—(yikes! I hate using those words—cheesiness to the max!) is long delayed.

I’ve always believed that love has to be spontaneous, that there really is serendipity guiding two people to be finally together. Having one’s lovelife orchestrated, in my opinion lang naman, is akin to messing with the forces of nature. Call me stupid or naïve for looking at love and relationship through rose-tinted glasses, yet it has always been easier for me to have faith in fate. I guess I simply grew up believing things to be that way. Poor me, fooled by the countless unrealistic romantic movies I watched when I was young Nevertheless, growing disenchantment is already making me turn away from these things. I don’t anymore read romantic novels, much less watch heart-warming films (waste of time, tsk tsk!). I am now attempting to eschew–still with minimal success—my former addiction: the heady rush of being smitten. Perhaps soon, I will be “accidental romantic” no more.

~ by frozenmocha on June 10, 2008.